the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
