Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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