CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
