There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
