What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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