We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
