North Korea, Best Korea!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
