I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
