You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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