Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize