How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
