3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
