belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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