doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
