I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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