mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
