she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
