are you still at the devil's house?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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