Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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