she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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