Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
