He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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