I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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