lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
