I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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