everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
