problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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