You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
