i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
