come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
