Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
