She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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