If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm having to shit out rocks
The air taste purple.
Randomize
