I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
