why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
