It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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