ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
