Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
