Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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