giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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