he shaved USA in his pubs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
