you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Reggie can tackle my bush.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
