why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
