i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
