no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
