This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
