We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he puts the penis in happiness.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
