how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
