I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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