i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
