I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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