I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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