I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is classic penis vs brain.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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