piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm getting married
To pizza
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
