Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
