omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
