There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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