that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wear drunk well.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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