If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
