she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
