She is in my trunk
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
