I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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