new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
