I'm really into asian looking animals
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
